Randomness

The hardships of love

During the day I don’t want to see her. For she has in her gaze the madness of a bewildered trained animal. I’m the only one who recognizes that, and I cannot bear it.

- A report to an Academy

I hurt a little...

There I was, standing at the tram stop, looking at strangers shunning from the rain; walking in the rain, waiting for a friend; friends waiting for them, sharing an umbrella; having no umbrella at all. In the midst of all the chaos, I tuned out.

And I hurt a little.

 To feel the pain inflicted on my brother and not being able to ease the agony that he has to endure; even though he pretty much deserves it. 

To that I hurt a little.

Not being able to give my sister a glass of water or make her some porridge when she'll ill.

To that I hurt a little.

Then, to watch my mother attempt to suppress her heartache and not being able to be there for her to tell her that everything's going to be ok.

To that I hurt alot.

Back to December.

Because today I dreamt that you took my hands instead of hers.

Weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start

It feels as though I'm being swept into a cloud of emotions. No, I'm not being emotional. I am merely reflecting on certain things in life. Particularly, my life. Maybe it's because I'm in my twenties now, and it won't be long before I hit 22. And at this age, I feel like I'm neither too old nor too young. Most people my age (i would presume) has gotten their life and path figured out while here I am, floating around as if there is a giant piece of cloud right beneath me. In that sense, I can safely say that everyone differs that way and mature differently, I guess. But I really dislike it when people ask me what do I want in life or in the future. Yes, I know you've got yours figured out, but just fuck off of mine. 

Other than that, I really miss my friends back in sg. Not that I'm homesick or anything. I just miss their company. But that's besides the point of this entry. 

Visuals.

2011

2010 has been an exhausting, challenging and overwhelming year for me.

This year, I've been blessed with the opportunity to study in Melbourne and starting something new while learning to be independent at the same time. I've lost love, but found strength in that to make me a stronger person and opening my eyes up to bigger & better things. I've made such wonderful friends, friends who really cares and friends that I will always treasure. I am definitely looking forward to ending this year and starting 2011 with a whole new perspective on things, and I'm also cutting people who has hurt me out of my life. 2011 seems so promising already.
Till next year.